I hate to prove John Cougar Mellencamp right, but there's something about summer, no? These last couple of evenings I've come out into perfect breezy evenings and all those feelings of restlessness and longing--those feelings that used to drive me to scrawling poetry by the light of a thunderstorm and to stay up all night reading and go to Macey's at 3 am just because it was there--that I'd thought I'd grown out of or gotten over are stirred up again. I can suddenly sympathize with boys yelling from trucks and with my students who can't sit still and haven't heard a thing I've said this last week or two.
And I love the feeling. And I hate it. All itchy and nervous and go go go. Lonesome and bored and awed and happy and comfortable and hungry and jealous and so much till I wish I could explode or kiss someone or run away.
Today I got my summer job in line. I'll be working for Orem City again, this time at the city center on State and Center. Not quite so idyllic as Timp park (to be in the mountains first thing every morning, it was sooo gorgeous), but not as motion sick/asphalt-heated as Ernesto's road crew. (Except my supervisor, now that I think of it, might be mildly crazy...dang.) I'm totally looking forward to working out this angst in manual labor. To spending my days outside, to Summerfest, to sushi lunches at Target. To lunch hour in the library. I just caught Jim (last year's boss) before he left for the day and I practically skipped out of his office. I LOVE him. Anyway. This also means potential for travel this summer and that I'm not going to starve next year, very reassuring.
There's more here: a weird satisfaction in being able to do manual labor to save up for grad school. I like toeing the blue-collar--white-collar line (one of the reasons teaching is so appealing).
I'm excited to work off flabby.
I'll have to even more fully embrace the early-to-bed lifestyle I've started this year. Too bad I love summer nights just slightly more than I love summer dawns. (I didn't go to a movie tonight so I could wake up early tomorrow...it feels like sell out or being boring, but really I just want to run while it's still cool).
Anyway. More than once today (driving to school in the sun with Diet Coke for breakfast, sunroof up, Vampire Weekend loud; discussing evolution with Toni; Albert pounded his monologue; walking out of Jim's office; reading on my roof) I have been entirely overwhelmed with contentment and peace. Ramble ramble, God is on my side. ke
Friday, May 22, 2009
blue jeans
Posted by Kjerstin Evans Ballard at 9:45 PM
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5 comments:
Please, as far as I'm concerned you can prove John Cougar Mellencamp right any time you like.
you are not flabby.
I have a roommate who is considering using the name Cougar for his posterity. Which I think he should go for.
I too am working manual labor this summer. I cut grass and pick up cigarette butts for Provo Parks and Rec and love it. It's the job of the philosopher, of the ponderer, of the lover of the Earth. Seriously, it rocks the socks off of my brain. I'm over at Lions Park in west Provo if you ever want to come by between 7 and 3:30. I'll be there.
Also ask if you can paint. Painting bathroom doors is amazing.
Andy--I did it (all, all if it, even the painting) last year too--and right? Such a fantastic way to spend the summer.
sushi lunches at Target? I am going to need more info, am I missing out on something??
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