A touch

So, was reading a friend's post today and thought I'd let myself do the nostalgic thing just for a minute. Yesterday I had a very difficult and overdue conversation that reminded me that things aren't the same as they were and that they won't be and that that's ok. I went to the Writing Center to make copies today (with plans to leave some cash in the cash box) and the code (which I probably shouldn't even had access to last semester) was changed and it stung for one second, but never really was mine anyway...so I sat on a couch in the newly reopened JKB, which I'd never really made my own, watching out the window at people passing. There were couples and kids who looked little and bishopric members and I found peace in planning out next week, making sure to fill it with friends and stuff to work on and responsibilities and fun.
And that's what it's going to be like for a minute here. Planning out week-by-week, not sure where I'll be or who I'll be living with in a couple of months. Scary and hard for someone who likes control, but that's the focus right now--this week. Some plans for next week. I know what I'll be doing in fall, and preparing for school and new kids and a new year.

On my first day at BYU I was wearing red sneakers and I got lost. The first day was a Tuesday, not the Monday that I'd planned for and so I made a trip to the ASB to figure out where my classes were, then walked into Ed Cutler's English 201 15 minutes late. I remember thinking "it will be cool when I see people I recognize on campus."

Now it's done. It feels good, I am ready to be done. I can't cross the quad anymore (couldn't when it was populated) without stopping to chat. I have had classes in every building I could see from the JKB. I have had several homes on campus--writing centers, my office, the pub--I know where the best places to nap are and the best places to eat and the quickest routes to caffeine and the best smelling handsoap and the best drinking fountains. And there was where where that first date was proposed, and there was where I decided I couldn't get married, and there was where I met a best friend, and there was were I decided I might be crazy, and there was where I talked about the French Revolution and that was where I gave my farewell talk...

So this week I will learn to bake bread and go to a concert and start a book club. Next week I will read more teen lit. Maybe sometime this summer I will go and visit a friend in DC (what do you think Amanda?). In the meantime, I still have my red shoes. And my planner. And years and years of memory.