Another highlight of this weekend: Lars and the Real Girl. I was kind of nervous, mostly because my patience wears thin a little with the kooky-family indie film that's been made so often this last little while, but I was wrong to worry. Aside from being funny and awkward and life-affirming and visually satisfying (think comfort food involving canned soup and onion straws), I feel like I learned some stuff/have things to think about.
And maybe the only one I'll blog about tonight is this: Lars and his brother Gus are talking about the lack of rites of passage (I have a friend who wants to contrive some, btw, and subject his kids to them, which could work?) and Lars asks Gus how he knew he was a man. Gus says something to the effect of doing the right things even if they're hard. Working hard, not cheating on your woman, etc. The reason this was interesting to me is because I'm doing the student-adult transition thing and it's kicking my trash. Hardcore. Like, I keep feeling compelled to stay up really late to assert my independence or spontaneity when really I usually regret it later. And I keep being super indulgent (remember how I stopped drinking Diet Coke? Yeah, it's hard for me to keep track too) because it feels like in my indulgence I'm rebelling against something or proving some point and that it's important. But it's not getting anything done and it's not making me happy particularly. I don't really deserve a summer vacation, though I took one and have played really hard. I'm a professional now and need to get stuff done and that's that. ?
It feels like now is when I have to start (continue/remember how) to take satisfaction in fulfilling my responsibilities. I'm not a complete flake, I know how to do this, but haven't lately and have found myself enveloped in an almost superstitious funk (I'm finding that my superstition grows out of disempowerment--imagined, real, or self-imposed) and I think there's a connection here.
Maybe a downer post. See the movie, though, it's fantastic. ke
Monday, July 28, 2008
Lars
Posted by Kjerstin Evans Ballard at 11:24 PM
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2 comments:
If you haven't already done so, I think you should take an hour and 16 minutes, go to YouTube and watch the entire video of Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture." Or you could get a copy of his book.
It might help with the student-to-real-adult transition/dilemma/disaster. :)
I'm so glad you saw Lars and the Real Girl. And on the ceremony thing: I think this is really interesting and primal. Which is part of the reason I love Mormonism (we haven't given up entirely on rites and rituals). Anyway, I was reading some stuff about funeral ceremonies and closure and stuff and came across a description of this book, Healing Ceremonies (look it up on amazon for more details). It has ideas on how to develop your own opening/closing rites, etc. You should come up with one to close the last chapter and enter adulthood. I felt keenly when I went to the temple for the first time that I was entering adulthood. Keenly. Although the experience itself was great, the anticipation and preparation for going was much more stressful than my actual wedding day because, for me, it WAS the demarcation between childhood and adulthood, ambivalence and commitment.
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