I've been thinking a lot about the purpose of family lately. One of my conclusions: family helps you be who you are. There is something very centering about hanging out with people who have always known you (though this can feel repressive at times I've found it recently to be wildly reassuring).
Last week we got together to barbecue. After our diet cokes were finished we enjoyed some vicious black licorice (Turkish Pepper Drops--a.m.a.z.i.n.g.) and headed over to the old SLC library where my dad is setting up for Body Worlds which is opening up in couple of weeks here. We walked through the building and he told us what the next steps were going to be and how the crowds were going to flow through the exhibit (which he'd planned entirely) and we complimented his mustard-colored paint job (which looks incredible through the windows and against the building's cement facade).
As my brothers-in-law grew visibly more worn I had a flash: I belong to this family. I enjoy the walking and the planning and the diet coke and the black licorice. I felt like an Evans girl (a term hardly accurate anymore) and so a deep contentment of belonging. Reassuring.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Evans
Posted by Kjerstin Evans Ballard at 11:22 AM
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6 comments:
I'm so glad the fast is over! First of all, I totally get your post about being an Evans girl. I feel that way about being a Wismer girl. The three bro-in-laws here definitely get lost after being around us too long. And then I get confused because now I am an Evans girl, but in a totally new way. And eventually I will be the only one, especially without any daughters. Weird!!!!
I was wondering how your thoughts would play in an "I Am a Child of God" context.
What do you mean? Like how can I be an Evans girl and a child of God? (Mostly a joke.)
Ha.
I was thinking more like, how does knowing our Father in Heaven help us be who we are/center us? Is there enough commonality in being human to enjoy the fraternity of all mankind, or do we have to have Others to contrast ourselves with to feel part of group?
I think ostensibly yes. And I think that the "Child of God" context can be reaffirming as much in God's awareness of a person individually as one's awareness that they have that human commonality. I actually have yet to find any real comfort/centering from that idea that I can remember, that is, sometimes I feel: hey, God loves me and it's huge, but it hasn't been very helpful for me to remind myself "oh, I'm a child of God." Actually something I've been trying to look into.
In addition, I think we're put into families for this very reason. Heavenly Father realized that sometimes he's a little distant-seeming (it's hard for us to appreciate his love). If a family is functioning, they can do some of the facework and hopefully it amounts to the same thing.
On the other hand I think it's essential for us to seek after a relationship with God individually.
But generally I think we're provided with relationships to give us that jolt of comfort when we need it.
Also: I feel centered when I go to the temple in the right spirit. Same goes for going to church, for thoughtfully reading scriptures, for spending time outside, for doing yoga, for running, for hanging out with kids I like (here I actually mean kids, children, though friends are good too).
But family is still huge and I think a HUGE part of getting on track.
And the others question is a really good one. I think that feeling a oneness with the universe is an important and energizing thing--when I feel that way I feel God's love for me too, and know that everything will be ok.
But being part of an exclusive group has its own pleasures. And there's a time and a place for it I think. Like Christ sought time away from the crowd, and time alone with the apostles, and time alone with his father. He pointed out the differences between him and his followers (see the "my father" vs. "the father" discussion in the BD). Exclusivity can breed hurt feelings and contempt, and I think it's a concept often misused/misunderstood by men, but I also think it's an eternal principle on some level...
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