Jumble

1. Subway is a genius.

Have you seen this? Subway now offers--in addition to sandwiches on 4 kinds of breads, wraps, salads and flatbread sandwiches--pizza?! And it sounds a lot like I'm making fun, but I have had Subway pizza two lunches in a row. Tomatoes, olives, and extra onions (because I have something against cooked green peppers, a bad pita experience I think). Heaven.

2. Red leather day.

When the going gets rough, the rough put on fishnets and red shoes. Seriously. I wasn't sure on Wednesday that I was going to be able to get through my day. But I spent some time in the a.m. (didn't have a lot of it) lining my eyes and dressing up all fancy. It worked like magic. When I write a book for first-year teachers I am going to recommend they purchase fishnet stockings and red shoes with their blazers and all-function skirts. I'm not sure how this would translate for male teachers, but can't imagine it wouldn't have some effect.

3. 4 days and counting.

I haven't had a Diet Coke in 4 days. Wait, 5. Laugh if you must. Scoff if you must. I'm so proud of myself. I have been sleeping 9 hours a night (except for the night of 5 or whatever), and sipping a grape juice and cayenne cocktail which was recommended by a friend (I kind of love it), and I did give up the sugar fast for now (one stimulant at a time I figure), but I think I've survived withdrawals! The obscenely grumpy part of them at least.

4. ke for?

I went to a lecture/screening the other night put on by an organization called Provo for Palestine the other night. It was cool, and I went to see what they were all about, and saw some old friends. The conundrum I found (find) myself facing: I know that my talents could be an asset to this kind of organization. If not this one, something else--grass-rootsy, altruistic, art-based, I don't know. I'm good at organizing, I'm good at pep talking, I'm not great at managing, but I'm ok at design, and I'm great at getting things done. Half of me wants to jump in and make a difference somewhere, to dedicate myself to something big or deeply good or kind of sweet and international. The other half, though, is entirely exhausted at the prospect.
I helped with an art show a couple of years ago (with many of the same people) and it was a smashing success and really fun, but I walked away entirely drained and with almost no desire to ever help anyone again.
The caring, too, is an issue. I fight against apathy in my kids and kind of always have, but the prospect of hleping anyone...huge, kick my trash. But I could be doing more. (Not in the self-loathing way that that sounds, and no "you're making such a huge difference" pep talks, I know and I love it and am great.) But I do wonder about starting something big. While I'm young enough to do it. And getting overseas, that is to not-Europe, in a helpful way. There is a tug toward that in me still.

Anyway. Happy birthday Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Darwin. Good job shaping the modern world. :)