This is a picture of my mom and me at a party my family put together for my graduation. It was a fantastic party: Anne did (planned) food, Rachel did decorations, Dad lent us his gorgeous backyard, it was a very lovely melding of Evans family talent.
You'll notice that I look a lot like my mom, which I'm proud of and excited about. It means I get to be lovely forever.
The other day my mom was telling me about a book she was reading, something about how talent is overrated. The author pulled some studies and proved (like insomuch as is possible) that really great musicians practice more often and at more productive times of day than less great musicians. The book went so far as to argue that Mozart (and Tiger Woods) wasn't a genius, but just had a good dad and practiced a lot, at which point Dave took issue. Whatever.
So I saw this book and the first thing through my head, because I think like that, was "I'm toast. I will never be great because I'm sort of lazy and not very disciplined." Where Mom went with this though was "I think you're good at [whatever it doesn't really matter] because you do it every day." And it was true. I do practice some things regularly, and they pay off. Moms are great for that. It's their job, right?
Also a couple of years ago I was pretty mad at my dad for something and was kind of bothered because his mom, my grandmother, seemed always to take his side. From my point of view, at the time, this was kind of inexcusable. But after talking to my mom about it, I understood and kind of celebrate the loyalty.
I think we all deserve someone to be on our side entirely. And they'll be misguided sometimes because none of us are perfect or really can earn this privilege. But there's a strength in knowing that no matter how dumb you are, there's someone rooting for you and someone who thinks you're the bees' knees. Moms aren't always this, my mom is getting better and better at this, but it seems like everyone needs one of these.
Anyway. Thanks Mom. And thanks all the rest of you. (I've like an entire cheer squad of family and friends and feel very very lucky.)
Monday, February 2, 2009
Moms are Great
Posted by Kjerstin Evans Ballard at 9:15 PM
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2 comments:
I sort of think Tiger Woods dad (and Mozart's, too, for that matter) might be liable for child abuse. Parents who don't let their children have a childhood (for whatever reason) are loathsome. It is the worst and most irreparable (and usually the most selfish) kind of manipulation.
(I like parentheses, especially when I'm emotional.)
I was going to give a hearty "yeah!" in support of the abusive Mozart's dad theory, but then I remembered that the reason I felt that way was because of the portrayal of Mr. Mozart, Sr. in Amadeus, which is probably not extremely historically accurate.
Anyway, I do think that dads and moms should let kids be kids, but I also like the sentiment you're drawing out here, ke. Parents can be great cheerleaders and direction pointers. Thank goodness for great parents.
P.S. Word verification: dintshee. Instant store-brand kimshee made from a dry mix that comes in a packet? Just add cabbage and vinegar!
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